maybe the real problem is that we do not want the other person to have a back up plan. it's not that we're jealous, necessarily, of another person--of their looks or their position or the life that they could offer. but maybe its that they could potentially be a back up plan, which makes the other person in the relationship safer than we are. and that puts us at a disadvantage, being the one without a back up plan.

but if what we find in this one good relationship is the one theing we've been looking for all along, what do we do?

am i a sort of person that needs to even the score?

yes

maybe i am.

a competitive nature. a drive to win. the desire to be not the loser. not the weaker. not the one who was made a fool.

maybe.